Such a Twist!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7_RXXF0fks

We all know that tobacco is an issue for many people. But this advertisement played over and over again seems to be displaying the wrong message. Tobacco companies haven't advertised in decades over the bigger medias like radio and television.

After decades of trying to wipe out the tobacco companies, who really is the culprit for those who use tobacco products today? Now kids don't have access to any tobacco products in stores, how is this one commercial different from all the rest? Many can say that I'm wrong in my thought process towards this marketing directive.

Here we have a commercial about tobacco companies advertising towards kids. Enticing them with assorted flavors and entertaining the possibility they could consume the items. In a sense I can see it.  But in reality - No! I find two descrepencies within this ad. The company who created this ad is the one who IS advertising and enticing children towards tobacco products. What they are doing is like dangling a carrot in front of a horse to make it walk. "Here kiddies, doesn't this smell good?" "Hey Kiddies, does this smell like something you'd like to consume?" "Here Kiddies, doesn't this look good all spread out for you to want these items?"

There is a second aspect of this which grinds a nerve. As adults/parents, aren't we the ones to teach our children about smoking and tobacco. You can claim I am controdicting myself at this point. But please say that after I have said my point of view.

I grew up with both parents who smoked, all three of my brother's smoked, the neighbor guys smoked, women from church had a special Woman's Guild where they would smoke, sew and bitch all afternoon. As a child, smoking was a form of status. Now that tobacco is deemed unhealthy, who's responsibility is it to educate the youth of today. Don't count on the companies, they want your money. It starts with adults and parents who are apart of the child's life.

As I said, I am going to sound contradicting. But I really feel that if my parents, brothers and such didn't smoke or use tobacco products - plus if they knew the hazards these items created for an individual. Smoking tobacco wouldn't be an issue for anyone.

Politics and Community

Throughout the last months, my mind has been spinning on many different aspects of community and our current presidential  nominees. Whether or not these two things are linked together - is entirely up to everyone individually.

I really don't have a clue as to how or why I am writing it in the sequence which it all gets spelled out. So please bear in mind, my thoughts are running rapid.

I've been trying to understand the direction in which individuals whom pushed for our current nominees to being in office. Personally, I don't feel any one of them should be elected as President. There is not one of them is worthy of a vote. For some reason, the fumes which are in the air from any one of the nominees smell like burnt sulfur against natural gas. This is a mixture which no one wants.

In the last five decades, I have seen so many things change throughout our country. Our economy was once strong. Communities from everywhere held true with respect. Even though our country has been at a huge divide for centuries, there was always a community. With our civil liberties, this country has grown in leaps and bounds slowly. I don't care what country you're from, what your ethnic background stems from or what aspect of life you believe. I believe in respecting you as a human being with feelings, knowledge, compassion, humor, ambition and courage. I am no different than anyone else on this planet. And I never claim to being above or superior to anyone.

The formulation of this country has been based off of freedom. The freedom of religion, the freedom of choice. With this freedom, we bring unity. The current election stinks up the air. No matter who is elected President it's going to take us, as citizens to correct the impact which will cause our country a wider division. Write in your candidate and make your vote count.

Rebuilding communities once again can help everyone in a broader perspective towards a better future. I remember growing up in a time where communities of neighborhoods policed their own wrong doings. Parents were involved with day to day lives of their siblings. We all looked out for one another. But today, I don't see that happening too often.

The neighborhood where I grew up had many assorted people from different parts of life. Some blue collar workers and business men, small business owners and so on. Plus the various beliefs and cultures. As a neighborhood and community, there was very little worry about who anyone was with or what individuals were doing.  People had involvement.

Nowadays, many people are disconnected from their neighbors and community. The world has run a muck. I've seen people lose their jobs and homes as our country defiles itself as it slowly separates power. Fortunes of money being pissed out the window on people who can be bought which does nothing for our country; nothing for the people which live and reside here. Tax laws have to change. It's obvious after the release of Donald Trump's tax return, the system is really screwed up. Yes, he did use the tax laws to his advantage. Great for him! Yes, he was smart to utilize what is written into tax law for his own personal gain. In the same breath, there is another issue that needs to be addressed.  Our tax laws are written in just a manner which helps, assists and flourishes the wealthy. This leaves the middle to lower income individuals to pay in taxes. Leonard Cohen had it right in his song, Everybody Knows - Everybody knows the rich get rich and the poor gets poorer. everybody knows. Seeing as everybody knows, why isn't anything being done to correct the issue? Because we can't AFFORD it! But we can afford to speak our minds in hopes to change a broken system.

As a kid I remember going down to the local corner store, owned by one of the neighbors. I'd buy my five cent piece of candy and walk back home. The corner store owners and cashiers all knew me. Every neighbor's home I passed, they knew me. Hell, the damn postal carrier even knew me. Where has this aspect of community and neighbors gone? Today, how many individuals can honestly say I know all of the neighbors on my block/street? Like most people, they have become so absorbed into their phones, computers and/or tablets, they don't bother to acknowledge their surrounds.

Sure we all have friends which many of us prefer to socialize with regularly. But we also have people within our neighborhoods which creates a community. Our ambition to know and socialize with those around us has gone away. Neighbors were always friendly. Greeting someone new into the neighborhood was a common ritual. People went out of their way to meet those who surrounded them.

As time passed on, slowly these aspects of community have fallen off to the side with more and more homes becoming rentals. People moved more frequently. Taking the time to meet those around us was not a priority. Establishing stability, Ensuring safety became high concerns. As factories closed, unemployment rose, crime rates began to rise, prisons becoming overcrowded. People started doing what ever they could just to keep a roof over their head. The welfare system grew to overwhelming numbers as people were stricken and forced from their homes.

To continue seeing these issues happening over and over again throughout time, really makes me wonder what is really wrong with our government? When our country started allowing foreign trades to prevail, opportunities opened avenues for the source of our economic foundation to disappear. This took the heart our of our communities and our ambition to trust our government and country's leaders.

The leaders, spokespersons, individuals within the House of Representatives, Senators, Dictators and who ever else has a say in the decisions which make our country function the way it does are sell outs. They sell out to companies which flourish their pockets with wads of financial gain. Not for you; no, no, no; not for you - them. Here's one example: In Minneapolis and St. Paul, there was a trolley system all set up and working quite well. Due to some official in office who had mass interest in the fuel, enforced the unnecessary need for eliminating the trolley system. This put more motorist on the road, spending more on fuel, influenced more fuel burning buses motoring about this metropolitan area. Roads have more maintenance, our air is being overly polluted, emissions are out of control and the problem list extends beyond.

Now, after how many decades later, people are figuring out mass transit is a logical means to travel.  Decisions to implement the trolley, train or commuter train once again has shown great improvements. And now, our tax dollars are working towards building almost the same commuter system back in place. How long will it take for us, as citizens to realize that our system is not functioning as it should?  The transit system is just one example of how those who we have elected into office have screwed up our lives, fucked up our laws, the taxes and how our country is represented. As our government officials keep lining their pockets with bribes/donations towards bias agendas, this country will continue to on it's path to destruction.

Not many people would look at the amount of individuals who decide to join our military as a notable factor, but I believe it is a fact that should be acknowledged. When our country was thriving, there were many individuals who volunteered to serve our country. Now, the volunteers have been at their ultimate low. In my minds-eye, this is a huge indicator on how bad our country has fallen. The enthusiasm and dedication for our country is beginning to dwindle.

By allowing our government officials to stuff and fluff their bank accounts by companies which can buy their way into politics has brought our country to it's knees. Major Corporations not paying taxes for decades due to an unfair taxable system. Local government officials being able to implement our communities to benefit their well being. Our government officials are claiming to work on the behalf of us, citizens of this country. I'm sorry, but I don't see it. All I see are a bunch political hags who sell out for the top dollar. I want to know, where do we as American Citizens benefit from their profitability?

On top of all this, once any politician representative is out of office, they remain on salary until their death. How fair is this to our tax payers? We elect them into office. After their term is done, if they are not elected again, they still get paid their appointed salary. Where else can you have a job, screw up and not have to walk into work ever again and still get paid a salary for the rest of your life? Damn it would be nice if McDonald's had this salary payment plan apart of their budget. Our fucking politicians feel it's a necessity. I think it's a fucking waste of tax dollars which could be used for many things - other than paying a worthless politician who contributes nothing to people which they were to represent.

If you're old enough to remember when there were so many jobs available and not enough people to fill those positions, you know what it was like to not have to worry about where you are going to get your next meal. Yes I understand evolution changes the dynamics of economy. Do corporations really have to move the manufacturing industries away from what had made America prosperous?

With the great number of influences that made our country stand tall, our government officials lead the way into turning our lives, our community and our sense of worth spiraling down. Our politicians claiming to making America great again, have no clue as to what our country needs. Their bank accounts are not helping the needs of America's population. They remind me of those kids who when out Trick-or-Treating would take all the candy so no one else could have any. The selfishness makes it's effects.

Little by little, as jobs go away our community disburses. Our crime rates rise and yet our politicians can't figure out why as they sit on bribes and donations from corporations who have paid them off. Stop and ask yourself, who really is willing to speak for you and your interests? Not a damn one of them who is seeking office. The corporations who are paying them off are the only ones with anything to gain. I believe it's time to get our country back to being prosperous and flourishing. It's time revamp our politicians. Take the big corporations out of politics. Bring back that label which says "Made in America!"

Steering Towards a Better Life

It's been a mystery to me as to why and how some people display themselves to others. When I was younger, I didn't care about my personal hygiene or how my surroundings showed to anyone. And, quite frankly, my personality also displayed these actions as well.

Needless to say, these actions did effect my life. As much as I tried to get ahead, there was always something holding me back with my goals. At that point, I didn't realize it was me!

A while back, someone near and dear to me had gotten a great job working in welding. Everyday he'd come home, kick off his boots, grab his Dew and enjoy the evening. Hell I can't blame him, after a long day of work, kicking off your work boots and relaxing is a great way to unwind after sweating, working hard and dealing with the heat. After a week of him not bathing or showering, his funk was over ripe. Hell, a dog fart would have been a breath of fresh air!

After 10 days of funk, I finally had to speak my mind. "Hey are you going to shower?" I was shock when he replied, "Why should I shower, I'm not out to impress anyone?" I couldn't help it...I lost it! "Oh you definitely are NOT impressing anyone - but you sure are offending everyone with the way you smell. Get in that shower and clean up - make sure you use soap and water! With the way you smell, the dog thinks you're some crud he'd like to roll around in."

I know the Peanuts character Pig-pen always had friends. But his friends only wanted to play with him when they needed another body for those bigger activities outside when another person is needed. Like my friend, he always wondered why no one really wanted to hang out regularly. His depression grew stronger and deeper as his funk grew riper.

By all means I would never say that I'm the problem solver for issues like this, but I have to say when someone gives you a boost to help one come out of their funk. And a good majority of the time it's the funk that holds one back and isolates them. When I was younger, there were times where I felt like the Wicked Witch of the West and any aspects of water would make me melt away.

It became a fight for myself. I didn't want to shower. I was content the way I was and didn't want to change. But when I would finally get into the shower, I didn't want to get out because it felt so good! It was like that old witch feeling was finally washed away and I arose from the suds feeling like I can take on the world.

When I started to change my hygiene habits in my life, I started working for the Appleton Public School System as a janitor. As I was forced to clean up after Junior High students, there were many things I started to learn about people's habits and behaviors on sanitary discipline. I'm not going to freak you out about the many different gross things I would find that kids at that age would do - and a lot of it was just for attention or aggression release.

I am happy that once I started working as a janitor, my cleanliness attitude had made a drastic change. Growing up as a little gross slob had changed. I believe I started getting OCD with cleaning. At one point, my bedroom in my parent's home looked like a hoarders starter kit. A path from the door to the bed. After working as a janitor for a few months, I had my bedroom cleaned from floor to ceiling and wall to wall. After changing my surroundings and personal sanitary habits, many different things started to enhance my life.

After years of being a boarder-line hoarder/slob, I have noticed a huge change in my attitude plus how I would like others to acknowledge me as a person. Now don't get me wrong. My obsessive Compulsive Disorder hasn't taken over my life where it has become out of control. Yes I do allow my home to get messy. Yes I am a slob in areas where I utilize often. For instance, my computer area is a disorderly organized mess. I know where items are which are important. As for the rest of my living space, it's clean. It might be a little dusty, but for the most part it's clean. We never have leftover food, food wrappers or that sort of stuff flung around.

I also have a really bad OCD for my kitchen. I must have everything in their proper place once it's clean. There is an absolute must of which utensils go into the drawer next to the stove. Dishes have a certain place in the cupboard. All food in the cupboards have to be in certain areas. It drives me crazy when I find spices lingering with the can goods or pasta. Glasses, bowls or plates don't belong with the spices. All baking goods must be in one area and not spread throughout the pasta, can goods or spices. The only spices allowed with the bake goods are the ones only used with baking.

The hair on the nap of my neck stands on end every time I walk into a room where there is a mountain of dirty and clean clothes. The smell of molded dried up food resting on dishes under the bed makes me want to vomit. Then to top off a curdling stomach. Just imagine the site of when someone vomited on their bathroom door that has been dried and embedded into the paint almost 2 years prior. And if you're not gagging yet...peak under the bed where you can find a few dildos with dried feces sticking to the carpet.

There is only so much a person can do to help another who prefers to live in those aspects. Plus the other person doesn't understand how their living habits effects others. So many times these aspects have no meaning towards those they co-habitat with.

One of my best friends is a hoarder. I was really amazed how fast he grew into the sickness. The last time I was in his home, there was a very narrow passage throughout his home. The fear of stumbling overwhelmed me. Hell, the fear of being buried alive by mountains of paper, clothes and items which he felt a connection. What I find amazing is that he still owns his very first car he ever owned. And it shouldn't surprise you that he also owns every vehicle he's ever owned in his entire life. This doesn't mean that all these vehicles run or are operational. But he does own them. So many people have offered to buy one or more from him.  But he won't sell any because they all hold too much sentimental value to him.

It often makes me wonder what things are developing through another person's mind as I watch them progress into this type of sickness. I discover the many hints said towards correcting the problem helps to a degree. No matter how much one loves and cares for an individual who is progressing into these illnesses; with plenty of guidance, backed by loving assurance helps steer those towards a better life.

Uniting Diversity

Well, yesterday was the final day of Pride.  I've gotten to the point where Gay Pride doesn't mean that much to me anymore.  Yeah, it's great that our rights are now recognized throughout the USA. Now no one can stop those who wish to join in a marriage union.

Yes, our country has moved a big step forward. I hope the next hurdle, which will takes years to overcome, is to rid society of bigotry. I know this won't ever happen in my lifetime. With knowing how much many individuals were brainwashed from those who influenced us throughout our lives. Growing up with hatred for others due to their religion, nationality or their difference from yourself. It wasn't until I joined the Army when I finally got to meet a wide variety of individuals who I was taught to hate - but instead, I liked them for the person I know.

From the time I was a child, I was taught to hate those who were not like the rest of my biological family. I learned it was okay to like those who believed in a christian religion and everyone who was the same ethnicity. From my parents and brothers it was pounded into my head that those who were not of the same race, those who were not of christian faith, those who had a disability of any sort and those who were not of the same orientation as the rest of my family; were undesirables, outcasts and should be shunned or belittled.

From being in the Army, I'm grateful for meeting some of the most interesting individuals who taught me a new perspective on people. I've learned to be a whole different person, understanding of those who I don't know and not to judge individuals I know nothing about. I'm happy to have a wide variety of friends.

If it wasn't for taking the initiative to better myself, I would have been stuck in the backwards thought process which was imbedded in my mind. Every year as Pride comes and goes, everyone can see the various of individuals which come together to share the celebration in unity.  The diversity of everyone brings us all together, uniting individuals as one.  We are all people with the same common goal, to be accepted as the individuals we are, recognize to be and have become. Hopefully society as a whole can learn from the Pride celebration every year. It doesn't matter what religion, political views, ethnicity, one's differences or how one looks; we are all people and want to be accepted for the person we are, not for what one sees or has been taught about others who are different from yourself.

Camp Hard Wood's Leather Days Event 2015

I had an awesome time working on the Camp Hard Wood's Leather Days Event.  Once the entire event was done - I was so pooped, I slept for a whole day. I've really pleased with the amount of hours we had worked on organizing, distribution of fliers and posters, marketing and coordinating the sponsors, demonstrators and spokesman; the event was a great success.

I had such a great feeling once the weekend was finally over. Knowing that all the organizing, coordinating and delegating paid off.  Seeing as this was our first event as Camp Hard Wood, all of us who are on the board need to better organize ourselves so not all aspects of the event fall one a few person's shoulders and carrying the burden of a majority tasks.

Now with our first Leather Days Event is over, it's time to start working on assorted demonstrators, vendors and sponsors for the 2016 Leather Days Event. Time never sits still! I've been working on assorted things for Camp Hard Wood's Sex Gaymes Event August 27 - 30. There are a few guys already signed up for Sex Gaymes and I hope we have as good or a better turn out than the Leather Days Event.

I was very pleased with one of the volunteers from Leather Days - Eric Adams. He is a hobbyist photographer.  I'm glad we were able to add him onto our list of volunteers to help with each one of Camp Hard Wood's events for the remainder of this year and for years to come. His talents are well appreciated by everyone.  You can see his work at Camp Hard Wood's Leather Days 2015 on camphardwood.com.

The Leather Days Event wouldn't have been a success if it wasn't for the help from Joshua Conrade. If it wasn't for him and all his efforts, Leather Days wouldn't have been so successful.

Camp Hard Wood Leather Days and Sex Gaymes

These last few months have been quite hectic.  I've been dealing with many different aspects of Camp Hard Wood's Events for this summer. Putting together two events for gay and bisexual men has been enlightening.  There are so many things that I personally have accomplished with assisting on these events.

I've been trying to utilize the things I have learned from college in Business Management and Marketing.  I hope that the things I've learned is being utilized on the right path.

In the many assorted hook up sites I have been initiating conversations with many individuals about Camp Hard Wood's Events.  May 28th - 31st will be our first event at Two Creeks Campgrounds near Sandstone MN.  From everything I've experienced within the past, I think we have found an awesome campground to host our events.  The owners of Two Creeks Campground, Glen & Toni are awesome people! They are very loving and caring individuals who respect everyone as an individual.

In some aspects, I regret changing the name change for the events; but also look forward to a new beginning with a great group of guys. Changing the name from the BDSM Black Party to Camp Hard Wood feels right and has a fresh feeling to it. As we lose our Camp Adonis and Gay Olympics events, we gain Leather Days and Sex Gaymes.

The Leather Days Event will be just like the BDSM Black Party Annual Gathering.  Only this year there will be so much more offered to the attendees.  With 5 different demos and workshops, assorted vendors, free porn exchange, a complete dungeon space, movies every evening, a beer bust, breakfast served everyday and a cookout.

The Sex Gaymes has added more competitive challenges. If you have never been to any of the Gay Olympics or a Sex Gaymes or Sex Games events that we have hosted throughout the last 6 years, you will want to attend this fun filled event. What are some of the things you can expect at Sex Gaymes? How long can you last giving a blow job under water? How far can you tossing a 3 foot long dildo? How proficient are you at putting on a condom by using only your mouth? Or are you man enough to join the Master Bater Competition?  What is the Master Bater's Competition you may ask? The Master Bater's Competition is a 3 part competition.  We look for the first guy who shoots his load, the guy who shoots the furthest and the guy who shoots the biggest load.
Also with Sex Gaymes we are also providing breakfast every morning of the event, a beer bust and a cook out.

We have been really happy with the number of individuals who have already registered for the events.  It looks like there are going to be a great group of guys at each event.  I'm rather excited to get this years events to kick off!

If you have never been to either event, I suggest you go and have an experience you'll want to do over and over again!  Go to Camp Hard Wood and join in on the excitement.

Well, I haven't written anything for quite some time.  Maybe it's about time to put some words together and spew out what is going on with me and my life these days.

I have been really happy with the way things have come together with formulating Camp Hard Wood. I think the guys who are on the board are awesome and will make awesome coordinators for events to come.

Throughout the past couple of years I have gone through quite a bit of assorted different issues that have effected me and things going on within my life.  Some for the good, and well, the bad always brings up every behind like a skid mark on a pair of tight whites.

These last two years I fought to get on disability and that doesn't happen.  But, instead I'm put on SSI.  The difference is…not getting almost $40,000 in back pay from the time I filed.  Yeah I know I was short-changed, but at least I'm getting a check every month.  It helps! And there was no way I was going to contest the ruling for the mere fact I didn't want to wait another 2 years of not having any money to hopefully get what I feel I deserve.  For this I have learned to be humble, shut the hell up and take what they are giving me.

And now I hit another milestone in my life that I'm finding I have to face head-on. Throughout the years I have noticed that every time I get some sort of lung or bronchial infection; I'm not bouncing back as fast and up to what I used to be.  After having a long talk with the Pulmonary Specialist in the hospital this week, I have been faced with a blunt reality.  With the years of smoking, the years of painting without any respiratory filters and the years working with metalic paints/stains/epoxies, my lungs and bronchial have taken their toll.

I have known for a while that my lung disease will probably be the one thing that will end my life; I have accepted it.

There isn't a day where I don't look back on my life with the realization that I'm happy with so many things that have occurred. The word is that everything happens for a reason - more or less the cause and effect syndrome. With the many things I felt were good, there were bad things that effected me.  Yeah, well, such is life.  There really isn't much I can do about the past and the future will progress in the manner from which people create it.

Often times I ask myself…Are you happy?  Yes, I am happy.  I'm happy I can be mad, hurt, frustrated, irritated, laughing, smiling, giggling, buck ass snorting laughter, calm, content, dizzy, mesmerized, delirious and being a sarcastic asshole when the first stupid comment whisks from someone's mouth. Most of all, I love having a quick whit and a sharp tongue. Realizing the backlash of a tongue lashing on someone who deserves it seems to soothe me greatly.  I know this is why so many of my friends would refer to me as the Bitchologist.  I don't take shit from anyone.

Back to what is going on at this date in time…after talking with the Pulmonary Specialist, I have been informed that statistically the progressiveness of my lung illness, I have an average life span of about 2 years. From this I have to start making things easier for my family and friends before the time comes and I will finally be able to sleep.

After stating that, I'm going to start rambling. There are many people in my life I feel I have to say a few words to, so you know how I feel.  So, brace up, sit back and I hope you understand that the reason why I mention you is because  you have become a major part of me and my life.

To all of my grandkids - Phoenix, Elizabeth and Serenity.  You will always be my glimmer in life that will never burn out.  I cherish each and everyone one of you with all my heart.  Seeing your sassy sweet smiles, hearing your funny giggles and feeling your enormous tight hugs always made me feel every inch of your love.  I want you to know that I love each and everyone of you with all my heart.  I hope you all grow up to be as strong and loving of a person as I was and the way your parents are in your life.  And please, don't let anyone try to make you into being someone you are not.  Remember, there are things in life that you are happy with, don't let anyone take that away from you. Be you.

PEANUTS!!!

For my kids…where to start…oldest to youngest or youngest to oldest?  Ok, I'll start here…Lindsay…You are such a dynamic individual.  You have the gall and gusto to succeed every stepping stone in your path. You captured my heart when you gave me the first hug.  You have a heart of gold, a solid mind and enthusiasm of many. Every game night was a cherished moment that I carry with me everyday.  You helped bring our family together with those nights of trying to get me too drunk to play Peanuts. That didn't work!!! There are days, weeks, months and almost a year or so when we don't communicate. You know I love you with all my heart and I never want to see anything bad happen with you.  I'm very proud to have you as my daughter. You are my Golden child and I love you with all my heart.

Justin, you are my Junior.  My only living son who I try to embrace your direction in life.  I know this is where we differ and yet we are the same. There will be a day when everything will click together like a bunch of Legos and you'll say "No fucking way!" Please remember, 6 + 3 = 9, but also remember that 1 +8, or 2 +7, or 4+5 also equals 9. The route to what you are looking for is always on the last path you look down and I know you will find it. You are my Golden Child and I'm very proud of you. Justin I have loved you since the day you were born. Your Mother and I gave you your name because at the time it was unique and we felt the name gave you great stature. I believe your name still has a great stature. I just think you need to find your path that bares your name. You are a strong smart man. Everyday I think about the laughs we have had, the pranks we used to pull on each other and our little jokes we had between us. No one in this world can ever take those things away from me. We have always had a common bond. Always remember that I have always loved you with every inch of my heart.

And then there is my little brat Desiree (Rae Rae).  I love your vision. When everything is semi grey you always find the rose color gleaming out. I chuckle everyday thinking of the game nights we had. You helped bring our family together.  With all the laughs, crying, and being together - you helped bring the meaning of family into our home. I cherish you everyday. I love every moment we spend together.  You are my Golden Child, I am so proud of you and I love you deeply with all my heart. We have had some really good, fun, intense and controversial conversations.  I love it that we can disagree agreeably. We have an understanding of one another and yet we throw in our creativeness and we work together like a well oiled machine. I love it that we can talk about anything without judgment and have complete understanding of each other.

For others who are important to me in my life, Mom (Mary Ellen Halverson), Ted, Dave and John. Blood runs thicker than water. So many years ago, those who were in my life from birth have proven to me that running the path of water was the best escape. Ted and I have been the best of friends before color was invented. As a friend and a brother like figure, there is nothing in this world that could tear us apart.  We both know we have our faults, because our bonds of love and friendship overcome anything that we have had to deal with from the past. John, you have always been like that older brother to share his wisdom and entice others to do what you're too chick-shit to do yourself.  Then when no one will do it, you're the first one in line to entice the crowd. Dave, everyone thinks we're the old married couple.  Hmmm…there are days when I would say - Yup, now go away! Then there are other days I'd ask them what they were smoking and ask them to share. Throughout these last few years you have been my best friend. I guess if we would have been interested in each other in another way, we could have been a great loyal couple.  But we both realize that what we have is so much better and easier for either of us. Our life is grand and it''s nice to know others have been envious. As for my Mom; Mary Ellen, where do I begin. Since the time we both realized that recycling items was the way to go in our neighborhood, I knew I found an awesome person in my life. You are the one person who was always there for me no matter what was going on.  You spent hours out of your day to visit me when I was stuck in a hard place.  We would spend hours on your back porch eating gypsy root and snacking on crackers.  I loved it when you came to almost every birthday party and Pride party I had.  And I knew you didn't want to miss it for the world. That meant mountains for me. Looking up to you as my Mother sets the stride to succeed like you.  You really made me feel great the day you told me, "With you being an Atheist, I'd much rather spend time and learn with you on how to treat another person than from those damn people who claim to be christians in that damn church." Then when I asked you if you wanted me to punch someone…you almost said, "yes."

So with all of this…I have to say there are so many things and people within my life that have a great deal of meaning to me.  One thing that has more meaning than anything in the world is those who you encase your life with.  In life, everyone has their good and bad points.  I find it more enjoyable to be with those who see me as the person I am, not for what they want me to be.  I can only be me. I have many bonds with so many different people with many different perspectives. When you can understand an individual to their basics, building relations is the easy part.  There are so many common interests within everyone, finding them seems to be the mystery to the puzzle. My puzzle will never be complete - no matter  how hard anyone tries. I know long after I am gone, that puzzle will fill it's self in.

Throughout the last years, two more pieces of my puzzle have been put into place.  The first piece is Lisa.  I know throughout the years we have gone through so many good and bad issues.  And for the fact that you are the only woman in my life that I actually fell in love with.  Damn I wish you would have grown a penis.  Our personalities have always clashed together.  We have had a great more happy and friendly memories than the negative.  And Nancy, I'm so glad that after all the years from High School that we can pick up some or most of the pieces where things went array. I love it that we can laugh at our past, trying to recall our youth and look forward to making our friendship flourish for the future.